JEETJE

To the heart of who I am .... who I was... and who I will always be...

Jeetje

______

I will always be here

and its all I can ever

do

now I'm so sorry

hearts and love

This heart of mine

is still believing in

something that carries

me through

why do we have

to be so lost baby

if there is

any way to

make this right

pure

love

free

forever

eternally here

one and the same

all of you

I love you all

and one day

all of this will

make sense

to my dear

friends forevermore

the eternal fan

glowing and blowing

from

the beginning

and the end

have a good night

and a good day

from here

to there

where I will never

be yet still ...

wild and free

fun and us

and them

the plan

the setup

the days

always inch pass

this will only be

what you desired

always...

no more sad

so don't you be

don't be mad

and don't ever

forget

forgive

and do what

is right...

I know

and it hurts

but what else can I do

what can I ever do

when this is in me

dont let me go

dont let me fall apart

yet down I went

so now ...

in the waterfall

I will go gracefully

washing it over me

for what is wonderful

will always be

just is it was supposed

to be personal

and sacred

within time

and the universal

language

and its all we can do

the emotions

us into the free

so close and

so far away

the ever pull of this

to wake us up

oh dear in all of us

of what will never be

to what is so real

within the secret

the silence

ache

heart beats

even in the

broken lies

there is a beautiful

truth without a thorn

I can be, can you be

the choice we chose

its only words

I have tried my love

my dear

memories

to what is gone

and on forward

to what

is and will always be

oh dear

that is the way it goes

and I know...

all I wanted

can never be

yet it has been

so strong

in and out

of it all

one thing remains

my hart is still..

oh dear

so still now

so to all to be happy

don't let anyone

take what you and I

truly know that

no one else can

have

in the moment

that was sweet and kind

not the twisted and dark

that was taken

its just what was

and I shared all I felt

and all I loved

and its Just me

you know that

and you know what it means

and what it doesn't

and understand

that I will always

just be

just sweetly be

oh dear ...

as friends

friends forever

in the caring

and sharing

of just being

written words

forgive my blindness

in the binding

that caught up

with me from

the ritual long ago

that I had no

clue about but

do now

so do I know

now and oh

the path chosen

will never ever

be down the road

it was meant to go

for I refused to be

that which I was

told to be

for I love

way too much

the place I walk

the nature around me

and the sky

oh to the sky

when all the sparks

fly and are gone

binded blindness

in the sea of secrets

between the lies

and the truth

tears that fell

and sun shines

after the rain

and yeah I guess

they were right

I couldn't let it go

if there is a moment

in time don't forget

just forgive

and please still

smile

cause we

will always be

sweet cherished memories

sublime and happy

you sing and sing loud

and I will be here

expressing just expressing

for once we were friends

and not the darkness

that took us into a place

I am not ashamed just

sorrow filled the space

where my hart remains

maybe one day

I will know why

all of this has truly

came in

and left the physical

scars I carry

has it...

been worth while

there is no vain attempt

to right that which

has gone wrong

if for nothing else dear

know you have taken

this faded broken one

this shattered life

these sad eyes

and made them shine again

and express my hart

in a better way

if nothing else

from it all know

my friend that

I smile

in just being here

with me

without me

when we are

and when we aren't

I am alive

and it is so

sweetly insane

when you are gone

Its silence I cry to

walking alone

and I know it

and when you are here

my friend

leaving far running

so running

into the brightness

like the leaf showing

its essence

talk the talk

walk the walk

and be with your loved ones

for that is all we

all can do and be

I am just me

I will always be me

there is no loss this time

there will be tears cause

I care more than anything

Its how we are

and let it be

so let it be

is your heart in this too

mine was so tangled

and it was so wondering

and its so sweetly to know

that there was someone

definately there

in my darkest time

to bring me back out

of that fading away

in the end it may not be you

that I end up with

and that is ok

in some silence I still

want to hear

want to feel

want to be

and I know I am not

alone in that

no one can

take away that

which I will not be

ashamed for

even if it was gone

long long ago

and they tried to make

me think it was still here

love will remain

in whatever form

it can be shown

and love it struck me

like lightning and nothing

I can ever do about it

Know I could walk away

know you could walk away

and I would never know

that this fate has brought

such a living hell

yet I will always find

some type of happiness

and beauty of heaven

on earth within the

confinds that I am so

tied to and seem not to escape

I make the best of it

and carry on

in the only way I can

you have nothing to lose

I have nothing to lose

all that we have to gain

I am ok in this system shock

of reality mixed with fantasy

all tried to change who I am

and know it will never be

the same yet I will never

be changed in to the darkside

of the moon

no matter what

path they lay out before me

and it won't ever be undone

you can undo all that was

begun and know

it hurt me

it broke me

it destroyed me

yet I got back up from that

edge and conquered the lies

and survived it

oh to the one

that struck at me

what is in the secrets

I know there could at

any moment a strike come

like the bite of a snake

yet know that a snake

can not destroy a dragon

and I would have to start

all over again

and there would be nothing

I could do about it

yet something has struck

the cerebral brain

to have taken that faithful leap

of what we all risk

when we truly want something

the thing my best friend

didn't understand and therefore

is not my best friend

anymore is ...

that its worth the risk

to have love is so worth the risk

baby always

they see it

as I see it

they feel it

as I feel it

we communicate in the

strangest way

well we did once

and it was

so loud and clear

No matter what is lost

No matter what ends

know that there is a beginning

of a higher love

and compassion rules

this hart forevermore

so shouting

in the split seconds

of us

where the lines

blurred and

the western

view of me grew out

into the eastern northern

view

from my southern

upbringing to be

more open and free

than I ever was back then

that carries me

through each day

and in no way will

this be anything more

than what you want

it to be in the space

of what is truly

only to be expressed

between us and no one

else

allow us to be

the ones that we are

the expression of

who we are

and the freedom in

carrying on

in the way we have

or had

know that when we are

apart my friend

that its bleeding

and when we are together

its not bleeding

yet it has been changed

and morphed

from the moments

that lies and truth

were blended

to my sweet blindness

as the justice sometimes

can be...

all the time

yet know honey

endless

this is unlimited

so up in the sky

aimed and struck

you put the hooked

crooked arrow

in deep now

the breathing love

of this bleeding heart

has so

felt the wind again

felt the eternal element

of what was then shining

in the inspiration

of what we have always been

even though

we were so lost

so crazy

we are so crazy

wild wild

baby live

in the pulse of your love

kiss him for me

and make it sweet

for I know he is yours

and I will never be more

but baby know

that my love has been

true for all this time

it was what kept me alive

kept me fighting

kept me from death

and sweet heart

recovered

I have survived

in this found treasure

of all of the miracles that

the angel I was in my

soul gone

I know what is truth

and what is not so

to the human I am

certainly

know that

once there was

a tarnished halo

but its still shining

and won't ever break

not now, not ever

chess move

pawn to block

horse to the L move

and the Queen of you

and the Bishop of

the Religion of what they

will never understand

what lays within

the check mate of

this soul but for

the nature of love is god

and the mother is the aspect

who we are as women

and not man

in that same image

your the mother baby

i am the love

you are the dragon

that has set this heart on fire

and challenged the bird

to soar from the ashes

a new born fresh within

the same and yet never the same

always

on to another day

the sweet honey dewed water jug

is who I am and

I will pour it out eternally

in my rational thinking

of how idealistic my

romantic love can be so

direct and raw at times

in the mild calm sweetness

of this truly empty space

is so wonderful when it is

pure and true

and that is all

it will ever be

I have no where else to

turn to anymore

and it is oh so ok

oh so ok

in the spaces we

have not other choice

to be who we are

and express it and

sadly know that

my hurt

my ache

my obsession

will find a way

to survive and overcome

once the love in my heart

can be cooled and

not try to rip me apart

for

as I feel your heart beat

through the machine

of the mechanical waves

left ...

deep into my hand

pulsing like the drums

pounding the eternal universal

code

of life

of light

and

of energy

the energy of each

of us as humans

are apart of

its only

healing energy

LOVE

its just me

THE COLD CURE

to THE WARM HEART

BEATING SOUNDS

of SILENCE

to the crimes of how

passion can take over

in this wordsmith

no sin will exist

for all I was

for all I am

for all I will be

is in my hart still

---

To MY FRIENDS

I LOVE YOU

UNCONDITIONALLY

IN THE MOST HIGHEST

WAY POSSIBLE

A SPIRITUAL HIGH LOVE

BABY THAT IS WHAT

WE HAVE

WHAT I HAVE

WHAT YOU HAVE

WHAT ARE WE

IN THE END OF THIS

BLESS YOU

I WILL ALWAYS BLESS YOU

WE WILL ALWAYS

REMAIN FREE TO BE