LIFE'S LOSS

LIFE'S LOSS - EULOGY

S.JENSEN(c) 2020

THE RAVENS CIRCLE

AND CAW OUT THE DOOR…

SADNESS FILLING

MY HEART

IT BREAKS

OH WE ARE JUST

GONNA CELEBRATE

HIS LIFE

AND GO ON

OK I GUESS

SO HIS STUFF

JUST GETS

TO SIT THERE

TIL ITS THROWN AWAY

AND AS FOR

THE REST

ITS TO THEM

AS IF HE DOES NOT

EXIST

SO SADNESS FILLS

MY HEART

LEFT TO THE

STATE

I CAN ONLY ASSUME

HE WAS CREMATED

NO OBITUARY

NO MARKS OF

ANYTHING

FOR US LEFT

I DON’T KNOW

AND I CAN’T FIND OUT

NO ONE WILL

SAY ANYTHING

NOT A DAMN

THING

I WAS THE CLOSEST

PERSON TO HIM

AND ITS LIKE

POOF GONE

JUST FORGET HIM

IT HURTS BEYOND

ANYTHING

THAT HE HAS

JUST BEEN SO

FORGOTTEN

I HAVE NO RIGHTS

I CAN’T STEP IN

AND DO ANYTHING

SO I CRY

NOT FOR HIS DARK TIMES

BUT FOR THE BEST

OF HIM

AND I FIND ALL

THE ANGER

THAT BUILT UP

FROM EVERYTHING

HAS JUST

WASHED ITSELF

AWAY

ITS DEEPLY

WOUNDED

MY HEART

I CAN HOPE

MY OWN

KID NEVER

TREATS ME IN

SUCH A SO

UNKIND IN DEATH

WAY

I HAVE CRIED

FOR A PERSON

SOMETIMES

I THINK I SHOULDN’T

BUT I REMEMBER

ALL HIS GOOD

AND HE DIDNT

GET THE RESPECT

HE DESERVED

ITS SO HEART

BREAKING

I MUST MOVE

ON

I MUST FIND

WAYS

TO LET GO

HOW CAN ONE

JUST BE

FORGOTTEN

AFTER

18 YEARS

OF KNOWING

SOMEONE

CLOSER THAN

ANYONE ELSE

EVER KNEW HIM

I WILL MISS

HIS ARGUMENTS

HIS CONFESSIONS

HIS SMILE

HIS SITTING BY THE WATER

CHATTING

HIS MUSIC TASTES

HIS NICE KINDNESS

HIS HELP

WHEN NEEDED

I WONT GET A

CHRISTMAS CARD

THIS YEAR

I WON’T HAVE

ANYONE TO

SHARE A MEAL

ON THE HOLIDAY

WITH

MAYBE I WILL

FIND SOMEONE

I DID SPEND

TIME WITH MY KID

LAST YEAR

YET

HE AND I

HAD DINNER

CUS NO ONE

ELSE WAS

THERE FOR HIM

SIGH

I WILL MISS

FIXING HIS TECH ISSUES

GOING TO THE DOC

TO HELP HIM

WITH SURGERIES

AND AFTERWARDS

HELPING HIM

WHEN NO ONE

ELSE WOULD

TO HELP HIM

PICK HIMSELF BACK

UP WHEN

SOMEONE ROBBED HIM

OR HELPING

HIM WHEN HIS

RELATIONSHIPS

FELL APART

AND HE NEEDED

SOMEONE

TO LET IT OUT ON

LISTENING FOR

HOURS

TO ALL HIS RANTS

AND WILD STORIES

AND RAMBLINGS

I HAVE TO WRITE

IT ALL OUT…

I WILL NOT MISS

HIS LIES

HIS DARKNESS

HIS HATE

HIS RACIST WAYS

I WILL NOT

MISS THE NARCISSISTIC

IN HIM

I WILL NOT MISS

HIS HABITS

HIS DEPRESSION

WAS SO DARK

AT TIMES

HIS NEGATIVE

STUFF WOULD

PUT ME ON

EDGE FOR DAYS

AND ANY THING

WOULD MAKE

ME SO MAD

IT WAS INSANE

SOMETIMES

HIS ANGER COULD

BE BAD

BUT IT WOULD

GO SO FAST

AND ONLY

ONCE DID I SEE

IT AT ME

I HELPED HIM

STAY ALIVE

FOR SO LONG

I WAS HIS GLUE

I WILL NOT

MISS HIM

BLAMING ME

FOR HIS

TECH ISSUES

AND BELITTLING

ME AND

SAYING I WANTED

HIM

BEHIND MY BACK

NO I DIDN’T

I NEVER MADE

HIS STUFF

GO WRONG

I DID WHAT

I COULD TO FIX IT

I SWEAR

SIGH

NO MORE SHARING

WINE

NO MORE

EVERY NOW AND THEN

A TOKE

AND HIS STORIES

OVER AND OVER

AGAIN

NO MORE HUGS

NO MORE

I LOVES YOU

AS HE GOES OUT

THE DOOR

NO MORE I LOVE

YOU CUS

YOU ARE THE

ONLY ONE

THAT CARES ABOUT ME

WHY DO YOU CARE

CONVERSATIONS

NO MORE

HELPING

HIM WHEN

HE COME TO ME

HELP ME I WANT TO DIE

NO MORE

SHOULDER

NO MORE

WALKING HIM HOME

TO MAKE SURE

HE GOT THERE SAFELY

WHEN HE WAS

SO DRUNK

NO MORE BEING

HIS MOTHER

AS HE LEFT

MAKING SURE

HE HAD ALL HIS

THINGS HE BROUGHT

WITH HIM

NO MORE HELPING

HIM BUY

THINGS HE NEEDED

OR MAKING SURE

HE HAD SOMETHING

TO EAT

OR WHEN HE

SAY I HAVEN’T EATEN

IN DAYS

DO YOU HAVE

SUGAR

I GIVE HIM

ALL I HAD

AND SAY HERE

AND FEED HIM

NO MORE

OF FOODS HE

WOULD MAKE FOR ME

AND WATCH MOVIES

NO MORE

KNOCKING

ON MY DOOR

ANY HOUR

OF THE DAY OR NIGHT

I WOULD GET

SO MAD AT HIM

AND GOD SOMETIMES

I HATED HIM

NO MORE

SHARING ANYTHING

GOOD OR BAD

HIS STUFF GETS

THROWN AWAY

I ASKED FOR

MY BOOK HE WAS READING

I ASKED FOR

MY PAINTING

I GAVE TO HIM

FOR HIS BIRTHDAY

BACK

I MAY GET THEM

I MAY NOT

I DON’T KNOW YET

I HAVE A OLD HAT

HE HAD

I KEEP IT

I HAVE A COAT

HE GAVE ME

I WILL WEAR IT

SOMETIMES

I HAVE SO MANY

MEMORIES

UPS AND DOWNS

HIGHS AND OH SO LOWS

THE CLOSEST

PERSON IN HIS LIFE

AND I HAVE

TO JUST LET HIM GO

ALL THAT I PUT UP WITH

DAMN IT

YOU DON’T KNOW

HOW MUCH

YOU ACTUALLY

CARE FOR SOMEONE

TIL THEY ARE GONE

MY FRIEND

IT HURTS

SO MUCH

THAT HE IS GONE

I GO CRY MORE

BUT I GOT IT OUT…

TO KNOW

HE DROWNED

IN THE WATER

HE LOVED

TO SIT AND WATCH

THE LIGHT OF THE SUN

REFLECT ON

AND THAT

HE WAS POSSIBLY

ROBBED

IT CUTS TO THE BONE

THAT HE DIED

ALONE

IN THE HOSPITAL

UNCONSCIOUS

TO THE WORLD

AROUND HIM

IT JUST

HURTS

RIGHT NOW

A TON

I HATED HIM

SO DAMN MUCH

AND YET

I LOVED HIM

NOT AS A LOVER

WOULD

BUT AS A BROTHER

AND

A FRIEND

I WILL MISS HIM

MORE THAN

ANYONE ELSE

EVEN IF

NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!

THIS WILL

SIT WITH ME

A LONG LONG TIME…