LISTENING
LISTENING
S.JENSEN © 2017
SEEMS I DO
THIS A LOT
LISTENING
AND BEING THE
SOUNDING BOARD
FOR MANY A FRIEND
I AM WHAT
GROUNDS THEM
AND HELPS THEM
JUST BY ME
BEING HERE
TODAY I WENT
BY A PLACE
I LIKE TO EAT
AND GOT A HUG
FROM THE WAITRESS
CAUSE
SHE KNOWS
AND I AM SOUNDING
BOARD
FOR SO MANY
I CAN’T ALWAYS
GIVE ADVICE
BUT I AM HERE
I AM ALWAYS HERE
ITS WHO I AM
SO I KNOW
ITS PART OF IT
SMILE
I DON’T MIND IT
AT ALL
CAUSE I CARE
REALLY CARE
THINGS CHANGE
SO MUCH
AND IT IS WHAT IT IS
I DIDN’T WANT
TO HAVE TO
REMAIN HERE
I SO WANTED
AND NEEDED
AND CARED
BUT SEEMS
WE DON’T ALWAYS
GET WHAT WE WANT
THAT HALF WAY
THING COULDN’T
BE MADE
SUCKS REALLY
CAUSE DON’T
THINK I WILL
EVER GET TO A POINT
THAT WILL CHANGE
BUT DON’T MEAN
I WON’T STOP
TRYING
TO LEAVE
THE MIRE
AND WORK MY
WAY BACK OUT
OF THIS MUD
I AM STUCK IN
LEGS GIVE ME
MORE TROUBLE
SOMETIMES
THAN USED TO
AND I KNOW
EVENTUALLY
THE INEVITABLE
WILL BE THERE
BUT I FIGURE
THAT IS TEN TO FIFTEEN
YEARS AWAY
SO I DON’T THINK ON IT
I JUST KEEP GOING
KEEPING MY LEGS
AS BEST AS I CAN
HAVE THEM
BUT WHEN I OVER
DO IT MAN OH MAN
IT COMES BACK
TO WALLOP ME
SO
I WATCH WITH
THAT PERISCOPE
OFF AND ON
WHEN I CAN
AND IT NOT
CAUSE ANY
RIPPLES
TO KEEP
I HOPE YOUR HAPPINESS
WHERE IT SHOULD BE
LOVE IS STRANGE
AND HOW
IT CAN
FADE WHEN
YOU REALIZE
YOU ARE THE
ONLY ONE IN IT
YOU ARE THE ONLY
ONE IN LOVE
THAT THE OTHER
HALF THAT
YOU SO WANTED
TO BE
JUST WASN’T
WHAT YOU WISHED
IT COULD BE
AND
SO YOU DON’T
KNOW WHAT TO DO
WHERE TO TURN
HOW TO GO ON
BUT YOU DON’T
HAVE MUCH
CHOICES EITHER
SO YOU DO
WHAT YOU HAVE TO
AND LET
THE HEART LAY
WHERE IT IS
CARRYING ON
AND YET
SO WISHED
IT WOULD HAVE
BEEN DIFFERENT
COULD HAVE BEEN
FINANCES
ALWAYS KEEP
ME FROM DOING
ANYTHING I
WANT TO DO
I MAKE DO
WITH THE LITTLE
I HAVE
AND KEEP TRYING
AND KEEP CREATING
BUT ITS GOTTEN
HARDER
AND HARDER
AS IT GOES
ALWAYS THE
ROOF OVER HEAD
MAYBE GONE
IS NOT SOMETHING
YOU LIKE
HAVE HANGING
OVER YOUR HEAD
LIKE A PENDULUM
SWINGING BACK
AND FORTH
TO THE RUINS
THAT ARE NOW
HOME
AND THE FUTURE
SO UNSURE
AS IT STANDS
RUMORS
HURT IN BOTH DIRECTIONS
ONE CAN RECOVER
BETTER THAN
THE OTHER
NEVER KNEW
SO MANY
COULD MAKE
SUCH A BIG DEAL
OF A FRIENDSHIP
AND CHANGE
THE WAY
MY HEART FEELS
BUT IT DID
AND I SUFFER
FOR IT
IT COULDN’T
EVER LAST
I TELL MY SELF
THAT ALL THE TIME
TO MAKE
IT BETTER
MY LOVE
IS SO
NUMB NOW
AFTER IT ALL
I COULD
TRY AGAIN
WITH SOMEONE
BUT I DON’T
FEEL IT
ITS JUST NOT
THERE
IT WILL ALWAYS
BE FROZEN
FROM THE
MOMENT
IT WASN’T MINE
AND NOT
MUCH I CAN
DO ABOUT
THAT NOW
BUT CARRY
FORWARD
AS WE DO
AND IT
SO COST
ON BOTH SIDES
MORE THAN
IT SHOULD HAVE
SOMETIMES
WE ARE NOT
ALLOWED
THE CHOICES
WE WISH TO
BE
AND SO
YEARS LATER
I AM STILL
WONDERING
HOW CAN I
FIGURE OUT
WHAT TO DO
WITH THIS
HEART OF MINE
AND WHO TO TURN
TOO
WHEN THERE
JUST DON’T SEEM
TO BE ANYONE
THAT DOES ANYTHING
BUT COMFORT
AND
BE SO SO FRIENDS
WHERE IT
IS WORKS FOR THEM
AS LONG AS
THEY GET WHAT
THEY WANT FROM IT
BUT THE MOMENT
YOU ARE IN REAL
NEED
THERE IS NO ONE
AROUND
SO YOU DEAL
WITH IT ALONE
AS ALWAYS
AND TO KNOW
LOVE SO EXISTED
AND SO SPARKED
MY HEART
WHERE IT WAS
SO DEAD AND GONE
SO FAST
IT DID
AND HOW I
WILL NEVER KNOW
THE FULL TRUTH
OF ANY OF IT
JUST ONLY
BITS AND PIECES
BITS AND PIECES
LIKE THE MOSAIC
TILES BROKEN
AND SCATTERED
AROUND
YET WHEN PLACED
JUST SO
THOSE PIECES
BECOME WHOLE
AND A NEW
CREATION
I SO NEED THE
BROKEN PARTS
TO BE MOLDED
AND GROUTED
INTO A NEW
PIECE
HOLDING
MY HEART BY
THREADS
TO FIND
AWAY
TO GO FORWARD
CAUSE IT ALL
I GOT NOW
NOT THAT I WANTED
IT TO BE
LESS THAN IT IS
BUT IT SO
MADE SOMEONE
ANGRY
AND SO IN TURN
MADE ME ANGRY
AND CHANGED
MY HEART
MY DESIRE
FOR ANYONE
AT THIS POINT
IS SO
NOT THERE
ITS NOT FUNNY
I TRY
I SO TRY
BUT I KNOW
KNOW
THINGS MUST HAVE
BEEN ONLY
ON MY SIDE OF THINGS
IT HAD TO BE
ALL JUST
MY IMAGINATION
THAT
WAS HELL
TO FIGHT AND SURVIVE
AND YET
WHERE I WANTED
TO BE
WILL NEVER COME
BACK AROUND
AND WASN’T
ANYTHING I COULD
DO ABOUT IT
BUT LET IT BE
AS IT IS
I DON’T KNOW
ANYMORE
ANYTHING
AT ALL
BUT HOW
I FEEL
HOW I FELT
AND HOW
I SO WOULD FEEL
AND WHERE
I AM AT
RIGHT NOW
IS TRULY
NOT THERE
WHERE IT COULD
BE
SHOULD BE
AND FRANKLY
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHERE TO PUT
THE REASONING
IF THERE IS ANY
BARELY
HANGING ON
AND YET I AM
THE SOUNDING BOARD
FOR SO MANY
I KEEP TRYING
TO FIGURE THAT
ONE OUT
I DON’T HAVE
A SOUNDING BOARD
MYSELF
I WRITE NOTES
TO MYSELF
ALL THE TIME
THEN I DELETE THEM
CAUSE I JUST
DON’T KNOW
WHAT ELSE
TO DO
BUT WRITE
AND LEAVE THE NOTES
TO THE AIR
WHY
NOT SURE ANYMORE
WHY
SEEMS
MY FAVORITE
WORDS
ARE IT IS WHAT IT IS
AND
SIGH
MORE THAN EVER
ITS LIKE
THERE IS NOTHING
TO THAW OUT
THE LIQUID NITROGEN
ROSE
THAT IS SO FROZEN
ALL THATS LEFT
IS FOR IT TO BREAK
INTO A ZILLION PIECES
BUT
IT DOESN’T BREAK
SO IT JUST SITS
THERE
IN LIMBO
WHERE I AM
WHERE IT SEEMS
I WILL ALWAYS
BE
THE ONE
ON THE OUTSIDE
ALWAYS LOOKING
IN
TO A PLACE
THAT JUST
ISN’T WHERE I CAN GO
I HAVE TO WALK
BY THEM ALL
AND SAY OH HOW NICE
BUT KEEP GOING
SO I TRY NOT
TO THINK ON ANY
OF IT
SEEMS SO
WRONG
AND FEELS
SO OUT OF PLACE
BUT IT IS
HOW IT IS
NOW
I KEEP TRYING
HOPING THAT
AS I TRY
CHANGE WILL
TURN AND LUCK
BE BACK ON MY SIDE
THAT ONE DAY
I WILL WAKE UP
AND LEGS NOT HURT
WILL WORK FINE
AND ALL WILL BE GOOD
BUT I KNOW BETTER
NOW
ITS JUST HOW
DO YOU FACE
WHAT IS TO BE
AND STILL SMILE
I LAUGH
AND DO SMILE
SOMETIMES
BUT MORE
AND MORE
I DO NOT
IT JUST IS
WHAT IT IS
AND I CAN’T
DO ANYTHING
ABOUT IT
SO I WRITE
AND LEAVE
THE WORDS
WHERE THEY ARE
WITH THAT
EVIL THING
CALLED HOPE
AND THE
MISPLACED
GRACE
OH SUCH A SIN
THAT CAN BE
SO FAR FROM
GREED
BUT YET
NO MULAH
NO EXISTENCE
SO YOU HAVE
TO FIND THE
WAY TO
COMPROMISE IT
AND MAKE DO
I BEEN
DOING THAT
A LONG LONG TIME
MAKE DO
WITH HOW THINGS
ARE
THEY NEVER CHANGE
AND THEY
NEVER WILL
I STILL PUT
MY EFFORTS IN
JUST NOT AS MUCH
AS I WAS
OVER TIME
YOU GET TIRED
WELL ALL I CAN
SAY NOW
IS I WILL
KEEP GOING
TRYING TO KEEP
MY LEGS GOING
AS LONG AS POSSIBLE
CAUSE QUALITY
OF LIFE
JUST IS
WHERE DID THE
PURPOSE
OF EVERYTHING
SEEM TO GO
I DO WHAT
I LOVE TO DO
BUT EVEN THAT
HAS LIMITS
NOW
NOT CAUSE I DON’T
LOVE IT
AND THAT I CAN’T
CREATE
OH I CAN SO WELL
AND HAVE COME
SO FAR
WITH IT
BUT ITS
FACTS
THIS FAR DOWN
THERE IS NO WAY OUT
YOU KEEP SINKING
TIL YOU
HIT THE BOTTOM
AND SEEM
TO STAY THERE
WILL IS THE
ONLY DETERMINATION
THAT KEEPS ME GOING
KNOWING
I AM THE ONE
OTHERS TURN TO
TO LISTEN
TO HEAR
TO BE THEIR SOUNDING
BOARD
IT IS WHAT IT IS
NEVER KNOWING
WHAT WILL
BE NEXT
AROUND
THAT CORNER
I KEEP GOING
AS BEST AS I CAN
AND TRY TO KEEP
THOSE AROUND ME
IN GOOD SPIRITS
SOME I HELP
OTHERS JUST
CARRY ON
SOME I LOSE
AND
THOSE STILL HAUNT
SOME DAYS
WELL I GO
TO SLEEP
AND WAIT TO
DREAM
THEN WAKE AGAIN
TO A NEW DAY
WITH THE
HOPE
THAT
NEW OPPORTUNITIES
SOMEWHERE
DOWN THE LINE
WILL BRING
THINGS TO AIDE
ME OUT
CAUSE JUST ME
ALONE
I KNOW NOW
WILL NEVER
GET ME OUT
ITS FAR
FAR TOO
INTO THE
UNKNOWN NOW
TO CHANGE
THAT FACTOR
DREAMS
AND THE
THINGS
THAT MAKE
YOU STOP
SIGH
